Venus in Aries-
Understanding Self-Value Within Relationships

Part 1

It is always striking to hear clients voice archetypal themes of current astrological transits through the stories of their own personal journeys. Venus has been transiting the zodiac sign of Aries for a good portion of this year (February 4 – March 27, April 30 – June 6, 2025). Although intimate relationships are often a main focus in therapy, the question of self-value within partnerships has been particularly poignant these past months.

Like every astrological transit, the question asker is also the answer giver. In this case, Venus in Aries holds the key. 

Archetypal Symbolism of Venus & Libra, Mars & Aries

To fully appreciate the archetypes being activated by Venus transiting Aries, let’s break down the symbolism. 

Venus

In astrology, Venus is the planet that symbolizes the archetype of love (the Roman goddess similar to the Greek goddess Aphrodite). Venus’ location and zodiac sign in our birth chart tells us about our patterns in relationships–who/what we are attracted to and who/what is drawn to us. Venus communicates the way we relate to others, particularly romantic partners. Venus signifies beauty, artistry, and pleasure. And most importantly for the purpose of this post, Venus represents value: what is of value to us. 

Going a layer deeper, each of the zodiac signs is ruled by a specific planet (sometimes more than one), with the ruling planet having a significant influence on the qualities of the zodiac sign. One of the zodiac signs Venus rules is Libra. 

Libra

Libra is associated with being the sign of partnership represented by the scales. Through the symbol of the scales we derive many of Libra’s qualities: fairness, balance, harmony, equality, equity, justice. 

Historically, balancing scales were used in commerce to assess a fair exchange. But it isn’t just in commerce that we weigh and balance, we do this in partnership as well. 

Imagine the Libran scales represented the relationship itself: you stood on one of the scales and your partner on the other. Like the balancing scales, we are constantly in a dance of flow as we accommodate and compensate to maintain balance with the other.  All the while we ask (sometimes consciously and other times not):

• Is this a fair exchange of energy, emotion, investment, time, etc between us?
• Are we well-matched (balanced)? Are we similar or do we compensate for one another with our differences?
• How is harmony (balance) attained, if at all, in this partnership?

In astrology, Libra is also associated with the element of air, which has to do with communication. No partnership thrives without communication: we cannot read each other’s minds or assume our needs will be met without communication. 

Communication is an important aspect of balancing with our partners: “I’m feeling sick with a cold today–can you do the grocery shopping?” 

This dynamic of balancing within a partnership evokes a significant question of justice: Are we doing justice to one another in this partnership? Is this partnership doing justice to me, to my partner?

Libra is therefore also associated with themes around justice¹, mediation, and diplomacy. To do justice to one another is an act of love, and we also need love/ good-will for mediation and diplomatic relationships to thrive; therefore, Libra is Venus’ territory. 

In summary, Libra is the energy of turning toward and having regard for the other. It is not just me here, but also you. And together we form a third: a relationship. 

Mars

Mars is the Roman god of war, and in mythology, he is Venus’ lover. Mars in the birth chart represents our willpower, drive, instinctual nature. As an archetype, Mars is focused on getting what he wants. In other words, winning, achievement, accomplishment. Mars is associated with blood and blade: it cuts through, for good and for ill, focused on exerting its power to obtain its goals whether it be by blood, sweat, or tears. Mars’ location in our birth chart tells us about our motivation and the way we assert ourselves toward what we want. 

Aries

The zodiac sign Aries is ruled by Mars. The spring equinox marks the beginning of Aries, representing the essence of existence (I am) and one’s ability to take action (I will). Aries is therefore considered more self-oriented, focused on I/me: “What do I want? Need?”. In contrast to Libra’s air, Aries is associated with the element of fire: It’s the trailblazer, the pioneer who goes out and forges (or burns) a new path with urgency, intensity, and passion. 

Fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) are associated with inspiration and passion, but with Aries, the fire takes on a specific edge–conviction. Aries’ fire saturates our blood with a form of knowing “I can, I will move mountains to get what I want”. 

Thus, Aries power is felt when we experience personal conviction– a desire so intense that it becomes “a must” (often felt like an inner drive or impulse). This can feel so emboldening that we are willing to stand apart from others, maybe even break off relationships, in order to go our own way.  

Aries is the opposite zodiac sign of Libra, and we can see why. Aries will “go to war” (separate, break up, confront, fight, etc) to accomplish its aim, which is very different from the diplomatic energy of Libra that will negotiate and mediate to sustain partnership and peace. 

So Venus, planet of love, and its sign Libra, ‘peace with the other’ is in intimate relationship with Mars, planet of drive/action and its sign Aries, ‘one’s own willpower’. As opposites, there is intense attraction but also a fundamental tension. Where Aries looks to one’s self to accomplish its aims (I want this, I’m going for it), Libra looks to the partnership as the path toward oneself (I want this…can you help me?).

As such, intimate partnerships are a constant dance between the self of ‘me’ and the self of ‘you’. 

Venus in Aries

Although Venus is the ruler of Libra, she doesn’t stay at home. As all the planets continue their celestial movement, they do their rounds through each of the zodiac signs. 

What happens when Venus is far from her home in Libra, and visiting Mar’s home of Aries? The blending of their energies brings an unsettling and illuminating focus to the archetypal theme of “me and we”—or rather, “me vs. we”.

Self-Value

Venus brings with her the question of value wherever she goes, but as she journeys through Aries’ territory, the focus is on self-value. This topic has been poignant of late in the therapy room. Many clients have been confronting the question of their own self-value, faced with the ways in which it has not been upheld within their relationships—friends, families, and romantic partners.   

Within romantic partnerships in particular, clients have been struggling with long standing patterns of relational imbalance: they give more to their partner than they receive: more time, more emotional labour, more patience, more empathy and attunement, more chances, and so on. 

Yet many have difficulty feeling the effects of the imbalanced dynamic. This shows up in the form of focusing more on their partner in session than themselves.

It’s something many of us can relate to—our attention and emotional energy becomes more focused on our partner’s frame of reference rather than our own. We do this when we ask questions like: “Why do they think/do/say that?” or in sense-making assertions like “Maybe they are like this because when they were younger…” 

If we go back to the image of the Libran scales of partnership, where we place ourselves on one of the scales and our partner on the other, taking our partner’s frame of reference is like getting off our own scale and joining with them on theirs. As you can imagine, this will tip the scales.

But is that so wrong? Isn’t that what empathy means—to put yourself in another’s shoes?

It is true that this is such an important component of healthy relationships: Libran scales are in constant motion as we negotiate, compromise, give to another, and navigate the exchange of energy between us. We aren’t statically standing in one place on the scales, but rather we establish a dance and flow with each other within the partnership. What we are aiming for is an equitable exchange between partners. 

However, some partnerships do not flow in this way, but rather a pattern constellates where one partner moves toward the other more often than is reciprocated. The scales remain lopsided. When this happens, the relational dynamic becomes one of imbalance: inequitable, unfair, unjust.

Our side of the scales represents us: our experience, our wants, our needs … our value. To continually leave our own frame of reference can be construed as a form of self-abandonment or self-loss. We aren’t standing with ourselves; we are being deprived of our own self-value. In other words, if we repeatedly leave our own side empty, then we experience a lack of value (deprivation/scarcity) within ourselves.  

Instead we add more value to our partner and more weight to their experience than our own by focusing our attention and efforts more on them than ourselves. The risk is that we become stuck there, waiting for them to do the same for us because then this would balance out the scales again. We wait for them to give to us what we give to them. We wait for them to add weight to our value. Sadly, many of us have had the painful experience that what we are hoping for, waiting for, working for, doesn’t happen.  

Venus in Aries: Love is a … Battlefield?

Patterns of imbalance in a partnership can render the relationship less like the Libran landscape of a peaceful garden, and more like the Arian landscape of a battlefield. Persistent relational imbalance can lead to different forms of conflict/tension between partners, and one can also feel as if they are at war within themselves (e.g. a part of me desires the relationship, a part of me wants out). 

In comes Venus in Aries–what happens when Venus, the planet of love, traverses a landscape akin to a battlefield? She demands a ceasefire, peace talks. The warring sides (both inner and outer) are prompted to come to the table and communicate productively to reach an agreement/a way forward. 

As a therapist who works primarily with individuals, I contribute to this process by supporting clients’ reflexive processes through helping them dialogue with parts of their own selves in conflict².  This is what Venus in Aries prompts us to do: to first return to ourselves and take stock of where we are at through self-reflection and/or seeking therapy.

It begins with Me: Rebalancing the Scales of Partnership

Venus supports us in taking up space on our side of the scale. She asks, “Regardless of what is going on for your partner, how is it for you?”

• What is the effect/impact of their words, actions, behaviours on you?
• How do you feel about your partner? The relationship?
• What do you value about yourself?
• What of value to you (time, energy, emotional investment, etc) has been lost in this dynamic with your partner?
• In what ways have you changed, grown, or matured? Has this partnership grown with you?
• If you experienced love for yourself, if you were in love with yourself, would you choose this relationship?
• Does this relationship bring you closer or farther away (or no difference) from what you value? 

Intent and Effect: Related but Separate Aspects

It is important when taking your own frame of reference and reflecting on these questions that you do not quickly override the effect with the intent. In other words, someone’s intentions and its consequent effect on us may be related, but they are not always the same thing. 

Someone can hurt us and not have meant to. Both can be true. Their innocent intention doesn’t mean that the effect wasn’t hurtful. To know that something wasn’t done or said malevolently can certainly help to assuage the pain of the situation, but so often I see people quickly minimize or diminish their own experience of the effect out of fear that this will then construe the other as the villain.  We are not automatically casting others as villains of our stories by acknowledging and coming close to our own experience (the effect). 

This is not an easy process by any means. To be able to stand with our own selves, our experiences (not minimizing/dismissing), while not immediately blaming/scapegoating others is a capacity we have to grow. It takes practice, and it’s common for it to be uncomfortable as we learn to hold the tension between intent and effect.

You’re Wealthier Than You Realize

Deprived of Self-Value: Feelings of Scarcity

Abundance and scarcity are opposites. We are more likely to remain in imbalanced dynamics, continually accepting less/feeling unfulfilled, when we have internalized relational scarcity. This is captured in the idiom, “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t”. I meet with many clients afraid to leave unfulfilling partnerships because “what if I never find another relationship or someone better suited?” 

Buried within such a question is the belief that value belongs to your partner, not yourself. There is a scarcity hidden within the scarcity, because essentially the question is stating, “I am not of value, so if I am without a partner, then I will for sure be with nothing (scarcity). Being with them gives me at least some value…I’m not relationally “wealthy” (fulfilled), but at least I’m getting something. Something is better than nothing”.

If you’ve thought or said something like this, just know you are not alone. I hear it in my counselling room a lot, and I empathize– I’ve been right there with you. It’s a shared pain. So I am sending much care your way when I say: Let’s not call crumbs a meal, okay? 

And let’s not also pretend that food buried beneath the ground (of our psyches) is readily available for consumption either. We need to do the work of excavating our self-value if it is buried deep within us so that we can become consciously aware of our self-value and embody it, that is, self-worth.  Because once we do this work of claiming our self-value, we are a lot less likely to be saying “something is better than nothing”, a lot less likely to be asking, “what if I don’t find someone else?”. 

Instead, when you experience this process of gaining self-value, you’ll find yourself to be wealthy. You’ll have gained a treasure within yourself–that is, a conscious, loving relationship with yourself. 

Venus: A Guiding Light of Our Own Value 

In summary, Venus in Aries is encouraging us at this time to honour the value inherent in our own selves, to stand in our own worth and choose partnerships and relationships that will balance with us from this place.

Venus, as the morning and evening star, reminds us that we are inherently worthy in our Being–day in, day out, night and day. As she moves through Aries, she encourages us to take a position that says,

I am valuable. My time, energy, and investment in relationships is valuable, and so I will not allow myself to remain in relationships that denigrate or dishonour my value. Instead, I will courageously walk toward the north star of my existence on a path forged by self-love”.

If you’re curious how to forge that path, stay tuned for part 2…

Notes

1. In mythology, many of the deities associated with justice have the symbol of the scales (e.g. Egyptian Maat, Greek Themis). ↩︎
2. Couples and family therapists are a good option for supporting this process between partners. ↩︎
3. Standing on your own side of the scales doesn’t mean that you then swing so completely away from your partner that they don’t matter at all. Many people who tend to be more concerned with their partner than themselves often feel uncomfortable taking up their own frame of reference because they worry about being “narcissistic” or “selfish”. This is very rarely the case – it just shows how foreign and unfamiliar it is to stand with yourself. It’s helpful to work with a therapist if you aren’t sure what is self-worth and what is egoism. ↩︎